Not Always Roses
by dwparsnip
Summary: Rodney experiences a grooming malfunction and John helps to smooth things over only to find that his help may not have been needed after all. A Rodney and Sheppard friendship fic.


Okay, so I've been going over the unfinished fics I have on my hard drive and trying to finish them. Here's is a short one that falls into that category. Set after 'Enemy at the gate'. No beta so my mistakes, and I apologize for them. Thanks to theicemenace for the quick read. MGM owns Stargate Atlantis as far as I know.

* * *

John Sheppard knew that on a regular day with nothing pressing to do or nothing serious in the works, he could be a bit of a slacker. He knew he could be a bit loose with arriving on time for mundane meetings, could run a little late- okay, a lot late- for routine physicals and could take his time getting to sparring with Ronon or Teyla. Of all the things that warranted an 'Okay to be late for' rating for John Sheppard, a physical and an ass kicking, delivered by either Ronon or Teyla, were most definitely at the very top of the long and distinguished list.

For all of that, however, John knew that Rodney McKay could be much, much worse. It only took something as inconsequential as a miniscule power spike in the water reclamation unit to get him distracted enough to lose track of the hours. It had happened many times before, and Sheppard had no doubt it would happen again, especially now that Atlantis' super-genius had a shapely, beautiful, young blond doctor added to the equation.

And it was with a shake of his head at the thought of a smitten McKay that he entered the main lab of Atlantis and found his friend slumped over one of the workstations far away from everyone else in the lab. Rodney was so perfectly obscured by the contraption before him that for a moment John wasn't even sure it was Rodney, but the mass of empty coffee cups and power bar wrappers haphazardly strewn about the desk clinched it.

Confused and with wrinkled brow firmly entrenched upon his face, Sheppard took one step towards Rodney and then stopped dead in his tracks when the consternated face of Radek Zelenka appeared out of nowhere before him.

"I would not go near him right now," warned the Czech, his voice quiet and ominous with just a slight hint of desperation. He rubbed his right temple with the tips of his fingers in a vain attempt to stave off what looked to Sheppard to be the stirrings of a monster migraine. "He has been in a terribly foul mood all morning."

John cast a quick look to Rodney, who hadn't budged an inch, and then looked back to Radek. According to the way the smaller man's eyebrows rose in resignation, he already knew what was about to be said.

"Thanks for the warning, Radek," he said with an appreciative tap on the scientist's left shoulder, "but I think I can handle a cranky McKay."

Radek snorted as if to say 'famous last words', then actually said, "I tried to warn you." He turned to head back to his work but stopped and leaned in close to Sheppard. "For goodness sake, don't mention his face."

"Right," said John in acknowledgement as Radek turned away from him and walked into the deeper recesses of the lab. It took another three seconds for what Zelenka had actually said to kick in and for him to blurt out, "Wait a minute…"

_Too late,_ thought Sheppard as he watched Zelenka disappear into one of the mini labs, followed closely by three of the recent additions to the science team. He took a deep breath and started walking towards Rodney. He spent the whole eight seconds it took him to traverse the short distance wondering just what Zelenka could have meant by his gloomy yet vague warning.

"Go away, Sheppard," Rodney growled without looking up.

John crossed his arms across his chest and leaned forward to try to get a better look at Rodney, only to have his friend slouch further down behind the piece of technology between them. He settled back and said, "We were supposed to try out the Fish half an hour ago."

The Fish. There were many advantages to being back on Earth, such as being able to spend some time with family and the restocking of armaments, food, clothes and so on. One of the biggest advantages for John and Rodney was most definitely access to better toys. Case in point: two gas powered remote control boats- aka The Fish- with top speeds between fifty and sixty miles per hour, or eighty to a hundred kilometers an hour as Rodney had contritely pointed out when they'd gotten them. They'd both been itching to try them out off the East Pier for days, but their schedules had been blocked solid.

Rodney cringed as though he had actually forgotten about it. "I don't have time."

"Come on, Rodney," said Sheppard with a hint of a smile and teasing in his voice, "you do pretty much run the place," which was rewarded with a loud and slightly amused grunt.

He leaned to his left to look at Rodney, but as he moved Rodney moved to his left to keep the apparently inert technology between them. John straightened up and then leaned to his right, only to have Rodney do the same. He straightened again, then dropped his arms and quickly jumped forward to peer down over the device to look at Rodney.

He felt his eyes open wide as his mouth asked before his brain could catch up, "Jeez, Rodney, what the hell happened to your face?"

Rodney sighed heavily and sat back in his chair, allowing Sheppard to get a real good look at his face.

"Jeez, Rodney," repeated Sheppard, utter confusion making his voice louder than he'd meant. "What the…"

Rodney roughly crossed his arms across his chest. "I cut myself shaving!" he replied in a rough whisper that was anything but a whisper.

John leaned forward, resting his hands on Rodney's desk and studied his friend's face. Easily visible on both of his cheeks were bright red marks that Sheppard knew all too well. Silently he counted- two on the right cheek and one on the left- and multiple scrapes along his neck. "Shit, Rodney, what did you use? One of Ronon's knives?"

Rodney closed his eyes for a second and humphed. "I wish. Probably would have been better off."

"Rodney?" said Sheppard, impatience and curiosity in his voice.

Rodney rolled his eyes at Sheppard, but hesitated only a second before saying, "I had to use a dull razor this morning." Rodney shrugged his shoulders a little. "I'm sure you know how much fun that can be."

Sheppard nodded as he stood up straight again, admitting to himself and Rodney that he did indeed know. "So what's the big deal, Rodney?" asked Sheppard seriously. "I'm sure sometime during your busy life you managed to cut yourself shaving once or twice."

Rodney shifted uncomfortably in his seat, glancing around the lab as he did so.

"Come on," Sheppard said with a crooked smile, "let's go see what the Fish can do." As Rodney started shaking his head he quickly added, "I checked the duty rosters and there's no work being done out there." He stepped back and gave tipped his head towards the door. "Radek can handle this for a while."

"Yes," came the exasperated call from Radek who was still on the other side of the room. "Go! Please!"

Rodney jumped up from his chair and breezed past Sheppard, mumbling as he quickly moved about know-it-all Colonels and uppity Czechs. John simply smiled and followed Rodney, keeping quiet as they navigated their way through Atlantis' corridors.

John was definitely amused by the situation, and the desire to needle his friend about it only intensified when Rodney hid his face with his hand as though he had an itch when two female Marines passed by them.

He didn't though. Something was bothering the man who had become closer to him than his own brother and it was more than a bad shaving experience. And when they walked out onto the abandoned East Pier and his demeanor didn't change at all despite seeing the Fish waiting for them, John was certain something else was up.

The two mean walked over to where the remote controls were sitting on a waist high jut of a bulkhead and picked them up. As they walked down the ramp that led to the water- Rodney had long ago explained that this must have been some sort of launching point for Ancient water craft that they hadn't found any other evidence of- John couldn't help but notice that Rodney's demeanor remained sour. His pronounced scowl remained firmly in place on his pockmarked face as they started the boats up, and it didn't falter even as the Fish zipped across the calm ocean.

They were half an hour into it when Rodney noticed one of John's not so subtle glances and huffed. "What?"

"Nothing," replied John calmly. "Just wondering when you're going to let me know what's going on with you?"

Rodney watched his bright red with white trim Fish gently jump the wake left by Sheppard's and debated whether or not to tell Sheppard what had happened. The pros were greatly outweighed by the cons in his opinion, but in the end John was as close to a brother as he would ever have.

And just like any blood brother he could have, he knew Sheppard wouldn't let up on it until he'd spilled.

"I don't know what to do about Jennifer," Rodney said quietly.

John's browed wrinkled as he looked at Rodney out of the corner of his eye and even though there was something off about Rodney's voice he asked, "How do you mean?"

Rodney maneuvered his Fish into a tight turn and cleared his throat. "She used my razor." He could see Sheppard turn and gape at him out of the corner of his eye so he added, "My special razor, designed for sensitive skin." He shifted uncomfortably and kept his eyes on the Fish, noting that Sheppard's had stopped dead in the water. "I went to use it this morning and it was, well, she used it, apparently to…well she ruined it, or more to the point she ruined the last blade." He turned to fully face Sheppard to remind him of his the mess his face was. "And this is what happened!"

John wasn't sure if he should laugh at the way Rodney was glaring at him or not, so he erred on the side of caution and kept it at bay. "Well, that stuff happens, Rodney," he said nonchalantly. He turned away from Rodney and spotted his red, blue and white Fish bobbing up and down on the gentle waves. He started it up and buzzed alongside Rodney's Fish before pushing the throttle wide open. "Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships."

"Not much wonderful about it this morning," griped Rodney as he veered his Fish away from Sheppard's.

"It's not going to be all roses all the time, Rodney," said Sheppard as he brought his Fish along Rodney's once again. "What's the range on these remotes anyway?"

At that Rodney smiled. "Let's just say after I modified them we won't have to worry about it. And whatever you do don't touch the red toggle on the bottom." His smile fell and he sighed as he maneuvered his Fish into a tight circle.

"Look, Rodney," said Sheppard as he reluctantly brought his Fish to a stop. He lowered his arms and turned to face his friend. "You're two grown people, a man and a woman mind you, set in your ways and all that stuff. There are going to be some issues and some bumps along the road." John smirked and added, "I'm sure it tries her patience when she has to keep putting the toilet seat down…"

"I do not…"

"…and picking up your dirty underwear…"

"What are you…"

"…and listening to you complain all the time…"

"Okay that's not…"

"…and forgiving you when you make an ass of yourself."

Rodney huffed and rolled his eyes. "You are trying to help me, right?" he asked with enough sarcasm to sink the city. "Because I have to tell you it's not working."

Sheppard laughed and put his left hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Nothing is perfect, Rodney. Not science, not nature, not you," Sheppard caught the flash in McKay's eyes and quickly added, "not me and not Jennifer." Sheppard withdrew his hand and turned back towards the water. He got his Fish moving again and said, "And relationships are far from perfect. The question you have to ask yourself is this: do you love and care about Jennifer enough to deal with those imperfections?"

Rodney took a deep breath and focused his attention on his own Fish. As the two boats sped side by side along the blue ocean water he said somewhat dejectedly, "Thanks, John."

"Anytime," replied the Colonel. He was careful to keep the trepidation he was feeling out of his voice, because as well as he knew Meredith Rodney McKay- and he knew the man pretty damn well- he didn't have a clue as to what the scientist was going to do.

It was with that worry still fresh in his mind that Sheppard walked Rodney back to his quarters an hour later after having put the Fish to bed until they could find some more spare time to use them…whenever that was going to be.

* * *

The trip had been silent and morbid to the point where he'd felt as though he were escorting a condemned man to the gallows. The worst part of it was he had no idea what else to say to Rodney.

Rodney walked in first and Sheppard followed close behind, sticking close to Rodney like a true wingman until Rodney stopped at the foot of his bed.

"Rodney?" called Jennifer from the bathroom. "Is that you?"

"Yeah it's me," replied Rodney a heartbeat later.

"I have something for you," she said as she appeared at the doorway. She continued walking into the room holding a gift bag and smiled at John, "Hi, John," she turned towards Rodney and stopped dead in her tracks as Rodney came into view.

After a moment Jennifer walked over to him and, without taking her concerned gaze away from his face, placed the bag on the bed. Her arms lifted upward with her left hand settling on his shoulder and her right hand moving up to his cheek. Her fingers probed the red blotches on that side of his cheek gently, with all the copious care of a practiced physician and a concerned lover.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered remorsefully as her fingertips feathered a trail along the soft skin of his cheek and down onto his neck. "I didn't realize it was your last one until I was done with it."

She leaned over and with a tenderness that showed her deep love for Rodney, kissed each of the three bright red nicks on his cheeks.

John turned away from the intimate moment and took a couple of steps back towards the door, careful to avoid drawing attention to himself and breaking the magical moment between the two.

Jennifer leaned back and sighed, then reached down and took a small green tube from the bag. As she unscrewed the top and took it off the tube she said, "This ointment will help with those." She squeezed a little blob out onto her slender index finger and dabbed a little bit of the clear ointment onto each blemish. She replaced the cover as she surveyed her work and then tossed it into the bag.

Rodney gave her a half smile and said, "Feels better already."

Jennifer returned the smile and then reached into the bag again, this time pulling out a box the she held out to Rodney. "I had these come in with the shipment of medical supplies this morning." As Rodney took the box from her and started to read the writing on it she went on. "They're the newest version of your favorite razor, with an extra blade and a wider lubricating strip. I hope you like them."

"You ordered in special razors for me on the medical supply order?" asked Rodney as he looked into her eyes.

"Of course I did," she replied with a smile. She reached over with her left hand and cupped his cheek, carefully avoiding the cut on that side of his face, and sweetly said, "I love this face, and if you need special razors to take care of it then I'll do my best to get them for you."

"You know I love you," said Rodney so quietly he might have been whispering, which was a feat worthy of mention in and of itself, "right?"

"And I love you, too," she answered immediately and with enough conviction to astound both emotionally juvenile men in the room. "I have to go to the Infirmary for a couple of hours to settle the supplies away and then you and I should have some dinner." She cast a humorous glance towards Sheppard and said with an amused lilt in her voice, "You can tell me all about these things you were playing with this afternoon off the East Pier." She leaned over and gave Rodney a quick kiss before stepping back and then walking towards the door. "Bye, John," she said as she walked past him.

"Doc," replied John as she stepped through the door. He took a moment to think about just how awesome Jennifer Keller was before looking back to Rodney.

"You okay there, McKay?" he asked.

Rodney looked over to Sheppard and nodded. "Never better."

John took a step towards Rodney and asked, "So you and Keller…"

"I'm a genius, Sheppard," announced Rodney with a smug glare. The glare softened and Rodney smiled at his friend. "She's one of the best things to ever happen to me. You didn't actually think I'd do anything to mess that up did you?" Rodney waited a second and then said accusingly, "You did, didn't you?"

John sighed and then nodded. "I wasn't sure, Rodney."

Rodney snorted and then shook his head. He strode towards the door saying as he moved, "Nice to know you have faith in me, Sheppard."

John rushed to catch up with Rodney and asked, "Where are you going?"

"East Pier," replied Rodney. At John's confused look he said, "We're going to race the Fish and push those little red toggles I told you not to push, and I'm going to kick your ass so I can have something exciting to tell Jennifer this evening."

John laughed and slapped McKay playfully on the shoulder. "In your dreams, McKay. In your dreams."


End file.
